Wake up child. Send (his) mother off to work. Teach him to crawl. 2 hour baby nap. Walk to the pub.
Double Locks pub = dog friendly if you’re into that sort of thing.
No longer content with crushing all suitably sized objects ‘twixt his mighty jaws, Evan now has the ability to slice them into a gazillion pieces. Photo confirmation to follow once we get up the courage to hold his mouth open.