Daddy. Comfy, but not very stylish. A rugged 4×4 workhorse.

Pushchair. Able to affect ‘baby about town’ catalogue pose quite effectively here. Convertible.

New forward facing carseat. Peugeot 406 diesal estate. It says sensible, practical, family man. How could Zoe resist?

Rocker horse. Slow, shoddily made and a terrible ride. Suspension crude.

Crawling. You have to be joking mum. Why would I crawl when you carry/ push/ drive me everywhere. Pull the other one.